The Eighth Gift of Christmas

I had a fab reflexology session today. All the tension in your body is released through a really deep intense foot massage.You lie in a darkened room, listening to soothing music and a trained reflexologist lavishes your feet in scented oils and pets and pampers and spoils your feet. It´s amazing. I highly recommend it. Trained reflexologists offer their services at the Dublin Holistic Centre where I also practise, counselling, psychotherapy and career coaching.

The Seventh Gift of Christmas

Become like a cat. Ever seen a stressed out cat? My cat can sleep for 12 hour stretches at a time on every bed in the house, which we are all very grudgingly allowed share. He only wakes up to be fed and go out to the loo. He contributes nothing to the household in any visible way as my husband keeps pointing out and yet is treated the best - because the cat believes he deserves it. You need to believe you deserve it too. As the L´Oreal ad says because you´re worth it.

Cheryl Cole - Beaut.ie

The Sixth Gift of Christmas

Take a bit of time to relax this Christmas just for you. Go and look at Boots website to find some lovely new bathing or beauty products half price and take a bit of time to pamper yourself. You´ll feel like a million dollars. Try it, it works!

The Fifth Gift of Christmas

Children and pets are what make Christmas really special. The excitement of children waiting for Christmas morning and opening the presents from Santa is magical. If you don´t have children of your own then go over to a friend or a brother or a sister´s house for X-mas morning with small kids and remember what magic is all about. The look of the little girl in the pink pyjamas in the Coca Cola ad who see Santa is fab. The calmness, joy, and love you get from hugging a child or stroking a pet is amazing. That´s what makes Christmas. Try it. It works!

The Fourth Gift of Christmas

I'd like to suggest you stop reading, listening and watching the news over the holiday season. Certainly in Ireland at the moment, you would be jumping off buildings if you followed the news for too long. Try and read and listen and watch positive things. The stories about people helping and loving each other. It's a bit like the voice over at the start of the film Love Actually -
when you go to the arrivals hall at the airport you see love and friendship and genuine delight and excitement at someone's arrival. 99% of people in this world are good and loving. Let's focus on that over Christmas. Try it, it works!

The Third Gift of Christmas

Talk to friends and family about issues that are concerning you. Getting another perspective is so important and your friends and family really care about you, so will give you the best advice possible. Try it, it works!

The Second Gift of Christmas

Making and sticking to a decision frees up so much energy for other things in your life. Even if it's a hard decision to come to, because you don't want to have to carry out the task or speak to someone on a difficult topic, once you make the decision to do it and just do it, even if not brilliantly - you will feel fantastic, relieved and ready to move on to the next thing in your life. Try it, it works!

The First Gift of Christmas

The first gift of Christmas is to make sure that you always look your best on the way out the door. This really adds to self-confidence and self-esteem. I'm not saying a party outfit every time you leave the house, but make sure that your clothes are co-ordinated and flattering, your hair is clean and for women, that you have some mascara and lip gloss on. Believe me it works!

How to Deal with Bullying in the Workplace

I read an article in the September 09 issue of Image magazine www.image.ie this week about women bullying women in the workplace and how to deal with it. Women bullying women may well be on the rise in the Irish workplace as more women are in more senior positions now and everyone is more afraid of losing their job, so may react by bullying as it makes them feel more secure. Sadly though bullying crosses the sexes.

Bullying is defined as : persistent picking on individuals, shouting at staff in public or private, personal insults and use of offensive nicknames, public humiliations in any form, constant criticisms of trival matters, repeatedly accusing staff of errors which have not been made, deliberately interfering with post, spreading malicious rumours, encouraging staff to disregard another staff member's orders, ignoring an individual at meetings, giving ambiguous instructions, then setting objectives with impossible deadlines, inflicting menial tasks, taking credit for another's ideas, refusing reasonabl requests for leave, blocking a person's promotion - from "Workplace Bullying"- a leaflet published by the anti-bullying centre in Trinity College Dublin www.abc.tcd.ie

If any of the above seem all too familar the strategies recommended are : SARAH (S) Stop talking; (A) Active listening - what is the bully saying; (R) Reflect back - use phrases such as, "so what you're saying to me is..."; (A) Act professionally and assertively; (H) HR may be your next move. Again taken from the anti-bullying centre in Trinity College Dublin

All of the above sound very reasonably, but when you're being bullied it's not always that easy. Keep talking to friends, family, trusted colleagues and if necessary HR.

I have been bullied a number of times in my career. With experience, I now recognise it immediately and put steps in place to ensure it doesn't happen again. Awful though it is, whatever your age or situation, it helps hugely to speak as firmly and assertively as possible to the individual concerned when you are forced to interact with them. It is very helpful when you can see that it is nothing to do with you. It is their fear and insecurity. If counselling, assertiveness training or body work are helpful to you, do whatever it takes to get to a point, where the bully doesn't bother you any more.

Choice Theory = Personal Freedom

I'm reading a book called Choice Theory - A New Psychology of Personal Freedom by Dr. William Glasser at the moment. Essentially he talks about having personal freedom in work and in relationships. Dr. Glasser states that most of the misery in the world at the moment is connected to us trying to control others to do what we want or others trying to control us to do what they want. If we can all agree to respect each other's point of view and talk to each other in what he call solving circles, he promises the world would be a much happier place.

Looking at his chapter on work, he pooh poohs the idea of annual performance reviews, which he maintains both manager and employee hate unless the manager is on a real power kick. Instead he advocates solving circles where manager and employee talk to each other about how improvements could be made in the business. Dr. Glasser affirms that everyone wants to do their best and feel they're contributing in work and that performance management crushes the good out of that. If solving circles can be introduced to a business, a feeling of individual responsibility accompanies that which leads to work freedom.

Running A Colour Me Beautiful Workshop

I recently ran a workshop for the Colour Me Beautiful Image Consultants in Ireland helping them identify their key business challenges and how to address them. The day was extremely productive with a lot of good ideas and solutions generated, which will hopefully help the consultants move on to even greater things with their businesses. The thing that struck me most forcibly from the day was the importance of networking and bouncing ideas off your peers.

Knowing that others are facing the same challenges as you and looking at ways to resolve them together is very powerful and gave each consultant a feeling of being supported, which is particularly important in today's business climate.

Remember to keep talking to colleagues, friends and family about your business challenges. Don't isolate yourself. A problem shared is a problem halved they say and someone else's experience can provide a workable solution to your problem that you hadn't considered before.

Be All You Can Be - Eva Lee

Bought Out The Restaurant - Leisurely Sunday

Ever had a whole restaurant to yourselves for Sunday lunch? We did yesterday. We had the most relaxing day, again in Lisbon. We decided that we'd make a trip to the botanic gardens and lie under the trees reading our books. We left the B+B around 12:30 after a very leisurely breakfast, a little nap, ages getting ready and then strolling out the door - heaven when you're used to doing everything to a tight schedule. We walked for about ten minutes and then the overpowering heat meant we needed to sit down for beer, water and coffee! Those who know us well will never believe who had what. After a lovely hour on the Lisbon version of the Champs Elysees - Avenida de Libertade, we ambled a little further, though we were under strict instructions from my sister that lunch had better be soon or crankiness would ensue. When Sinead and I began to see the approaching signs, we were in the middle of the commercial district with very few food choices unless we were prepared to pay 99 Euro a kilo for lobster and unfortunately that isn't in our price range just at the moment. Anyway we spotted a potential neighbourhood restaurant with a sign outside which said open and the prices looked reasonable, but we couldn't open the door. We kept rattling the handle, but nothing. We tried calling in the window as we could hear life inside - nothing. In desperation, because my sister was getting seriously ratty now, we even attempted climbing in the open French windows which were about 3 feet off the ground to the delight of the old lady cleaning her front step, just next door. Sinead is the most athletic of the three of us, but even she found the table and chair arrangement just by the French window impossible to hurdle. Some higher power obviously took pity on us then, as they decided the eejit foreigners had been tortured enough and the door was opened.

We arrived in to a very traditional Portuguese restaurant, a big long room with linen covered tables, a tv at one end of the room and an aquarium at the other. We ate a very pleasant meal and had a great girly chat, one of many on this holiday and had the whole restaurant to ourselves for about 3 hours. There wasn't a single other paying customer in there. The waiter told us, it's August and his regular Sunday clientele is at the beach for the day or on holiday themselves. Their main business he said is Monday to Friday. I was amazed they bothered opening for three foreigners only, but it was fantastic. Just in case you want a similar experience Forno Velho .

We did make it to the botanic gardens at around 5:30pm and it was dim and cool and quiet with lovely woody smells and we wandered around aimlessly for a while. Perfect!

Cool, Funky, Great, Restaurant - Bica do Sapato

Back to Lisbon. Our big girl's night out was Saturday and the guys in the B+B recommended Bica do Sapato opposite the Santa Apolonia metro station : http://www.golisbon.com/food/restaurants/Bica-do-Sapato.html . We got all glammed up and weren't disappointed. The food was really good - high end, without being too nouvelle cuisine, like you'd get in Eden restuarant in Dublin. The atmosphere and decor though really made it for us. It was extremely funky and cool, yet very relaxing. It catered for everyone. Men in dungarees (although I think they were more a fashion statement than straight off the allotment), children, older couples, younger couples, groups and three gorgeous Irish women out for the night!

Lovely linen, heavy cutlery, fine glasses, stripey wallpaper, pink walls, tiled and wooden floors and straw garden furniture on the terrace. It is a very large restaurant with a sea view. When the restaurant is full, there's a busy buzzy chatter, but not overpoweringly so. We had a sea view, a sense of privacy and at the same time a feeling of being part of cool Saturday night Lisbon. Lisbon seems to be a city for lovers who openly revel in their sexuality. We'll be back with our partners!

Great B+B Totally Relaxing Lisbon

Like I said my sister, friend and myself are on holiday in Lisbon for the last week. I wanted some place I hadn't been before and my sister wanted some place that would fit all our budgets, and still delivered a little bit more. She's a brilliant researcher and we ended up in the Casa do Bairro in Lisbon http://casadobairro.pt/en/ . If you like the mix of getting to know people at a hostel, but you want privacy at the same time and something a bit more up market, then this is the place for you. We are staying in a modern combined with traditional, stylish, architect designed B+B where we can mix with all nationalities over breakfast and then head away for the day or loll around in the communal library and terrace area if that's your thing. The three of us are having the most relaxing time. Lisbon has that effect on you. The people here are really laid back, speak great English and are very genuinely nice to you. I cannot recommend the city and the B+B highly enough.

Quick Snack When You Get In From Work

Like all women, I want to look my best. On holiday at the moment in Lisbon with my sister and a friend and having a fab time. Lisbon is a fantastic city and the three of us of are having lots of time to talk and relax. We are giving each other loads of advice about what we all do at home to stay on top of things. A quick snack tip from my sister if you come home from work starving and know you need to eat something fast and ideally healthy before you start making dinner, or you'll eat everything in sight you shouldn't -Greek tzatziki: cut up a 1\3 of a cucumber, mix with a few tablespoons of Greek or any plain yoghurt you like and add finely chopped garlic, lemon juice and dried dill from something like the Schwartz's herb range to taste. Spread lavishly on 3 sesame seed Ryvita pieces. You have a practically instant, quick, healthy snack to take the edge off, before you start thinking about your main meal. You can be even healthier and drink water or herbal tea with it, but maybe diet coke is more your thing.

You Have What It Takes

quote I read :

You can be anything you want to be -
So, follow your dreams confidently,
And always remember
how much you're loved, too,
Because you are special -
because you are you!

Open For Business By Peter Cluskey

Open For Business By Peter Cluskey - Irish Women in Business - Network is an article from The Irish Times of Friday 17th July about business woman Tara Wilson-Black who set up a website http://www.irishwomeninbusiness.ie to assist women running their own business with day to day practicalities such as finance, tax and pensions and then focusses on networking as well.

I attended a course on Networking for Results run by Caitlin O’Connor yesterday the 16th July in Dublin. I have to say I really enjoyed it. It was very informative and interesting, while at the same time being simple, clear and immediately applicable. I would recommend it to anyone running a business who is looking to improve their networking skills and wondering where to meet possible clients.
http://www.acceleratingperformance.ie/c_networking_for_results.php

have just finished reading :

Anyone Can Do It: Building Coffee Republic From Our Kitchen Table: 57 Real-life laws on entrepreneurship (Paperback) by Sahar Hashemi (Author), Bobby Hashemi (Author) which is a very simple book on how to start your own business and gives very useful advice on business plans etc... in the back of the book. I particularly like books written by women about their trials and successes in starting a business. I found Sahar very inspiring and am going to hear her speak at the Women Mean Business Conference and Awards on September 28th in Dublin's Shelbourne Hotel http://www.womenmeanbusiness.com/awards/

1st post - Sahar Hashemi

Hi learning how to blog. Stay with me while I make the journey for my counselling and career website.

I recently read Sahar Hashemi's book about founding Coffee Republic in the UK. Looking forward to hearing her speak about the experience at the Women Mean Business Awards in Dublin's Shelbourne Hotel on the 28th of September.