Empathy in Business - Women's Executive Network - 16th September 2010

I have one of the most empathic careers you can imagine. I listen to people when they perceive there is nowhere else to turn and in six sessions, I get them to a point where there is light at the end of the tunnel, but what about other types of business? Is empathy useful or not  in today's recently changed environment?  - read on...


“Should Ireland be focussing on our relationship skills as our unique selling point?” Gina Quin CEO, Dublin Chamber of Commerce, asked the panel at the Women’s Executive Network (WXN) breakfast meeting in the Conrad Hotel Dublin on the 16th September? Bernie O’Hanlon, Director of Channel Management for Microsoft Ireland, with 22 years of experience with the company, responded by saying, “yes, while Europeans in general and the Irish in particular were known for their people skills, we have not been making full use of them in recent times and need to begin concentrating on them again”.

Bernie O'Hanlon

Kim Majerus originally from Chicago, General Manager of Cisco Ireland, added that people buy from people and the Irish are very interested in you and your life. This reinforced a point made earlier by Rachel Mooney, Head of Organizational Culture and Capability for Vodafone Ireland, that empathy means being human and not cutting off what makes each of us unique when we enter the workplace. Mooney’s empathic business role model is Sheryl Sandberg, a phenomenal networker, and a former colleague of hers in Google, who genuinely listened to her team and would let nothing stand in the way of doing the right thing. As a result her team would have run through fire for her.



Empathy can also be defined as putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes and as Celine Mullins, psychologist and founder of Act4 Business explained, “research proves that 65% of us who have a secure attachment with our primary carer as children will naturally develop this skill, unfortunately the 35% who don’t will need help to foster it.” O’Hanlon’s example of the empathy demonstrated by a Northwest Airline ground crew member in getting her life-containing laptop flown back to her destination city after a fellow airport passenger accidentally picked it up, thinking it was his, while they were going through security and boarded his plane with it, clearly shows this. She had to go to 48 desks before she met a Northwest Airline ground crew member who empathised with her predicament. O’Hanlon works for a company of 90,000 people - that’s a lot of business flights per year and a clear indication of how empathy translates into sound business sense.

Rachel Mooney and  Kim Majerus

Irial O’Farrell, moderator and founder of Evolution Consulting asked the panel, “if empathy can be developed?” It was agreed that it’s easier to grow in smaller groups and Majerus pointed out that for those who are not naturally empathic, relating a particular situation with a fellow employee in work, to how a family member might feel if the same thing happened, develops understanding and increases empathy.



Fiona O’Connor from Boardmatch.ie queried, “if women tended to be more empathic than men?” In a move away from the stereotype, Mooney believed that men are more open with their feelings in the workplace than women and are becoming more empathic. Majerus, on the other hand, felt that women traditionally listen to their gut more. Mullins was clear, however, that while testosterone can initially inhibit the production of oxytocin (the bonding hormone), men are highly capable of empathy, with which Conor Hurley from Arthur Cox sponsors of the event strongly concurred.



Andrea Cusack of Sheppard Moscow posed an interesting question on the right balance between empathy and leadership. It was roundly agreed that in times of crisis, people want a clear message delivered by a strong leader and that empathy, the response to the message, is not necessarily competing with leadership, the message itself.

Pamela Jeffrey and Celine Mullins

Pamela Jeffrey, founder of WXN thanked the panel and contributors for their stimulating input. A couple of very nice prizes were won, a few new contacts made and a good breakfast eaten - all by 9am.

Sarah Newman Motivational Speaker at Women's Executive Network

I attended a Women's Executive Network (WXN) breakfast event on Thursday the 22nd July at the Conrad Hotel, Dublin  with Sarah Newman as the main speaker. Sarah is an English entrepreneur living in Ireland who sold her business needahotel.com for a sizeable sum. She is also the only female on the Irish Dragon's Den (see photo).

Sarah gave a really inspirational talk focusing on her life to date, her childhood, schooldays, her apprenticeship with Gulliver, the discount hotel room supplier in London, run by an Israeli Jew who congratulated her on her chutzpah – which Irish entrepreneur Bill Cullen refers to as liathroidi (balls).


She came to Ireland initially because she married an Irish man with whom she had two children Grace and Patrick. She then started her business using Gulliver as her supplier of cost price hotel rooms, which she subsequently sold on to Irish tour operators and from there to Ryanair.

What came across was her passion, determination, strong work ethic and commitment to her business and her staff. All staff, she believes, should be bought into the success of the company; all staff are rewarded financially when the company does well and need to take the hit when grey days are looming.


Recognising that while still making a significant profit, the margins in needahotel.com were diminishing her management team and herself decided to sell the business. She was very much involved in pushing the deal over the line and spat and shook on it with the new owner of the company. She then decided that she would reward each employee individually on a pro-rata basis from the profit she made and her management team bought into that idea sharing some of their profit as well, which in my opinion demonstrates tangible leadership qualities.

I was particularly impressed that from her time on Dragon’s Den she has made the decision to invest in hand crafted hurleys,  contributing her expertise in web site design and marketing. The hurleys are now being pre-ordered from all over the world.
I see Sarah as a fantastic example of : a woman achieving great success in business, of an English business woman seeing a future in a traditional Irish craft and an unique, indigenous Irish sport and the strengths that can come from that partnership. Liz O'Donnell, expressed similar sentiments as she was wrapping up the session.


As I think you can tell, I really enjoyed listening to Sarah and felt highly motivated by her. She shared the best piece of advice she ever got – from her Mum - reach for the stars, there’s one with your name on it!
On a personal level, I met some really interesting, lovely people at the event with whom I spoke about my confidence building business and who in turn told me about their businesses, so hopefully we may work together or pass on each other’s details to interested parties in the future.


We also got a very nice goody bag. Who doesn’t like a little treat at 7 in the morning? There was a copy of the Rte Guide, a reusable shopping bag, an Rte keyring , a very useful Weight Watcher’s starter pack and a Weight Watcher’s pen. There were also complimentary copies of The Irish Times available and a great raffle with a gorgeous Clarins hamper as the first prize - which sadly I didn't win!


Goodies, good company, networking opportunities,  a truly motivational speaker and a fine breakfast in the Conrad Hotel in city centre Dublin – not bad for €49. I’m looking forward to more events like this.

Free/Complimentary Counselling Session in Dublin

Dear everyone,

as some of my clients are off on their holidays at the moment, I have a few hours available to offer a number of complimentary/free introductory counselling sessions. If you are in the Dublin area and would like a free counselling session to give you a little support at the moment, then please email me at eva@evaleecounselling.com with your name, email address and your phone number and I'll be in touch soon.

Please visit my website to learn more about me and my way of working.

Be All You Can Be!
Eva Lee

Being Happy Where You Are Right Now!

A very wise friend said to me the other day that we'd all be a lot happier if we could be happy right where we are now in our lives. It's good to have goals and it's good to strive for things, but it's also good to relax in the moment, give yourself a pat on the back and take a little time to appreciate what you've done to get where you are now, before you get back in the race to achieve your next goal.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Say to yourself what you would say to a friend who had achieved what you already have in your life. Be kind to yourself this Summer!

Dublin Holistic Centre Open Day - Saturday June 26th

Dublin Holistic Centre Open Day - Saturday June 26th

Building on the success of the Dublin Holistic Centre relocation to our beautiful new Georgian premises at 28 South William St., we will be holding an Open Day on Saturday June 26th to introduce even more of Dublin to the uplifting, fun therapies available. There are FREE classes and treatments on hypnotherapy, yoga, pilates, nutrition, homeopathy, facial rejuvenation and other interesting and fun topics. I'll be there too to talk one to one with you or a friend who might need some support at the moment To find out all about Saturday's event - click here.

Look Good Feel Good Event on March 10th

Well it was a brilliant night. The Odessa Private Members Club is a gorgeous,  funkily decorated,  tall Georgian building in 13 Dame Court, opposite the Stag's Head pub in city centre Dublin. About 25 ladies arrived just before 7pm on Wednesday March 10th into the intimate space of the cinema screening room to the strains of lively, upbeat, feel good songs such as Perfect 10 by Beautiful South, Sesame St., Homely Girl by UB40, It's a Wonderful World etc., and got straight into mixing and mingling, savouring delicious nibbles and quaffing some very nice wine. Eva Lee from Eva Lee Counselling welcomed the guests and introduced herself and Ruth Murphy from Colour Me Beautiful/Positive Image, explained the format of the event and wished everyone an enjoyable evening.

Ruth kicked off the event with a riveting presentation on style personalities. The guests had been asked to fill in a questionnaire on their own style personality - were they a dramatic, a creative, a natural, a romantic or a classic? Ruth outlined the types of clothes to suit their personalities, demonstrated the colours that suit particular skin tones and passed fab contemporary glasses frames around to complement every face shape.

Eva then took to the floor and the group identified the strengths of a number of inspirational women before focussing on their own strengths and motivations. Each of the guests then discussed a current challenge in their lives and Eva highlighted the importance of making time for yourself in your life. The wisdom and life experience of all the guests in the room was tapped into and a wonderfully supportive atmosphere was created.

Susan Kennedy, photographer from http://www.lensmen.ie/ won the raffle for 6 yoga sessions with Cara Sothern of the Dublin Holistic Centre  carasothern@hotmail.com

A number of the guests stayed around to chat with new friends and everyone was presented with a goody bag worth 300 euro before leaving,  including products from Benefit,  O2 and Mars and significant discounts on look good/feel good products from hairdressing to reflexology. It was widely agreed to be a wonderful evening - to be repeated in the Autumn!

Look Good/Feel Good Event March 10th

Eva Lee of Eva Lee Counselling and Ruth Murphy from Positive Image (Colour Me Beautiful) are running a look good – feel good workshop on Wednesday, March 10th in Odessa Private Members Club.



Wednesday, 10th March, 2010

• Location: Odessa Private Members Club, 13 Dame Court, Dublin 2 (opposite Stag's Head Pub)

• Time: 7pm to 9:30pm

• Event: Workshop and lecture based, helping you look and feel good!

• Opportunities to network and make new friends

• Fab goody bags for all participants

• Cost: €35 per person

• Any queries ring Eva 086/172 9419 or Ruth 086/226 3951

The Twelfth Gift of Christmas

Well, Christmas is officially over and we should be taking down our decorations this weekend. I hope you enjoyed it and got something you needed over the holiday season.  I had a lovely break. My husband and I were lucky to be able to go on holiday to the sun over the Christmas period and we had a lovely relaxing time. We then came back to unusually snowny weather in Ireland. We also returned to the news that our Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Whatever your feelings about the cuts Mr. Lenihan proposed in the December budget, he has demonstrated great strength and dignity in his response to the media. He is married with two teenage children. The story was broken by TV3 (TV3 Article) on St. Stephen's Day the 26th of December, apparently in the public interest, but as Minister Lenihan said himself in an interview, surely the information could have been released on the 4th of January without any loss to the public interest. The media has a lot to answer for. I'm sure none of the journalists who broke the story would have wanted news of any disease they might have broken to friends and family in the same way.

I commend Mr. Lenihan for his courage and I wish him well with his treatment in 2010.

The Eleventh Gift of Christmas

Christmas is a fantastic time to recharge batteries and relax with family and friends. I know if you have small children and a family, there is a lot involved in terms of presents and food preparation, but hopefully once the main day itself is over, you can get a bit of time for yourself. Time to reflect on the year gone by. Time to plan for the year ahead and most importantly, time to sleep.

Working mothers in particular really need the time over Christmas to calm down and focus on themselves if possible. You may only get 6 hours sleep a night during the working year if you're lucky. If your husband or parents or parents-in-law can take the kids off your hands for a couple of afternoons over the holiday season and you go to bed for those few hours, ideally to sleep, or read fashion magazines, or just dream, that is real time out for you. This will hopefully move you towards 2010 reaxed and ready to begin anew. Try it, it works!

The Tenth Gift of Christmas

I heard yesterday that someone I have known for a number of years and looked on with great affection died very soon after retirement at the age of only 67. He was a very kind man and I was really shocked to hear of his passing. It just brings home to me every time I hear something like that not to postpone your life. Not to wait until everything is exactly right to do something. Don't wait until the kids are older to go backpacking - do it now! Don't wait till your house is immaculate before having friends over - do it tonight and have a potluck supper. If they're really friends, they won't care that they're not getting a five course meal.  If you want to study, travel, do up the house then begin the steps now to put it in place. Don't wait till later, till you retire and then sadly find there is no time left. Enjoy Christmas for what it is this year and look at the richness in your life. Don't focus on the fact that a mug leaves a stain on the coffee table, but the fact that your kids are all home. Don't focus on the curtains not being pulled just so and look at the healthy happy family you have created. Enjoy the present more than the presents!

The Ninth Gift of Christmas

I've just heard that Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are splitting up after more than twenty years together. I always admired and respected both of them as actors and as people and am really sorry to hear that they will no longer be a couple. They have two sons together and Susan has a daughter from an earlier relationship. It's great when a relationship is going well, but for us all at times, we may have to say that there is no future in our partnership with someone and deal with the consequences. I am sure that Susan and Tim will have the strength and motivation to stay friends. Whatever kind of family we find ourselves in at Christmas, whether it's Mum, Dad and two children, or Mum and her new boyfriend, or single Dad, as long as we have other friends and family to share the holiday season with and support us, we'll get through it.